50 ways to leave your lover
So I'm here at work with the guys. T is practicing his guitar and I suggested that he learn to play 50 ways to leave your lover. It's one of my favorite songs and I consider it the best break up tutorial. That brought us to the subject of this post. We really want to know how may ways we can come up with to leave a lover. Lets start with what the song says:
1) Just slip out the back, Jack
2) Find a new plan, Stan
3) No need to be coy, Roy, just get yourself free
4) Hop on the bus, Gus
5) Just drop off the key, Lee
Now the ways that we've come up with
6) Make a quick call, Paul
7) Don't say good bye, Guy
Okay so now we ran out of things that rhyme. So we have decided to come up with enough break up lines to reach the 50 we're going for.
8) It's not you its me... I can't stand you
9) I am married to the sea.
10) Why don't we just take a break?
11) The only way to appreciate eachother is to see other people.
12) Really, it's not you, I'm just going through a selfish phase.
13) Maybe we have too much in common, we're too much alike.
14) Life is too short to make a mistake.
15) Yes, I love you but I really really hate you too.
16) You mean more to me than life itself, but I'm suicidal
17) I wish I had just stayed your friend.
18) I can't see myself with you when i'm 80.
19) I'm sorry, I just can't. Please don't hate me.
20) I miss being happy.
21) You simply can't make the heart feel something it wont, and mine won't. I'm sorry.
22)It's not me it's you.
23) Sorry, I was drunk...For about the last 6 months.
24) I just need some space.
25) I want to know what it's like to be alone.
26) I just need some time to figure out what I want/ who I am.
27) I don't want to be with you.
28) If you were about to say that you just wanted fun and no labels, I'd want to continue. But I think you want more.
29) You just know me too well and that freaks me out
30) Get dressed quickly or you're leaving in your pajamas
31) We're different religions. It will never work
32) We don't make eachother happy, is that what you want to hear?
33) I really like you, you're a great person and we have great fun - you're just not a long-term prospect.
34) Sorry, you're not the one.
35) The sex is great, but i just dont love you.
36) I love my mother more than I love you.
37) I want to be able to see other people without hurting you.
38) Have you always been so boring?
39) I need a lover who understands that 20 hours a day on the Internet is normal.
40) If the phone doesnt ring, it's probably me
41) We've just grown apart
42) The timing is bad.
43) I'm scared of your friends
44) I really did mean it when i said i'll love you forever. I just think we'll get along better if we end up with other people.
45) I'm just tired of spending so much money on a relationship I know won't last.
46) Being with you has helped me realize that I am gay
47) I'm over it
48) I just can't give you the attention you deserve
49) I'm in a place where I really need to focus on my career.
And of course, the words that everyone in a relationship dreads to hear
50) We need to talk...
I'm sure there are more than 50 ways to leave your lover, but we started running out of ideas.
Comments
I'm continuing this.
51) No hablo ingles.
52) Je ne parle pas anglais.
53) I've known you for so long, I don't even really like you anymore.
54) Sorry, the tarot lady said you weren't right for me.
55) Sorry, my horoscope said that I'm not supposed to see any pisceses.
56) I'm joining a hippie commune/cult/convent. And in all three I will not be shaving my armpits.
57) ...I'm taking a vow of silence... ... ... ...
58) My father would hate you if I introduced you to him.
59) You aren't worth the distance.
60) That last stint we did on Maury really didn't help us out at all.